Dear Royal Dog Butts
Firstly, thankyou to member The Right-Honourable Harrison-Ford Jensen, for the opportunity to infiltrate your Seppo-dominated, tight-arsed, neurotic-whining, secret-squirrel, men-in-pink-tights, sexual-deviant organisation.
After extensive consultations with the above member over the past 6 years, I have formed the opinion that most of you are boring, stay-at-home, wife-dominated, sad-fucks....and quite frankly, (pardon the pun) while the rest of us are out there in the world on missions and spreading World-Marine philosophy, you existing members are sitting on your fat lard-arses....coasting on the efforts by the Honorary Members, and not contributing to the spirit and vitality of World Marine - that is...getting out there and DOING IT!!!
I hearby present the motion that all existing members present their credentials - that is PROVE their worthiness to us, the incumbants, then we will decide whether your organisation is WORTHY of us - that is the Honorary Members, and incidently the current SOUL of WM and the RDBYC.
As evidence of my continued efforts towards WM....I have just spent three months travelling around Europe (Euro-WM-2004 tour) spreading the WM word... and my seed.....participating in sacred rituals of substance abuse....sampling vino tinto and cocktails at every opportunity...strenuously avoiding working whilst negotiating hard for more free travel and money.....and generally acting as if I am a fucking ROCKSTAR.
Towards the end of Euro-WM-2004 tour....a historic summit was held recently in the Sth of Turkey on the WM chariot-of-love...the SV Jubilation...with the above member Harrison-Ford Jensen....where I offered further evidence of my continued WM commitment, by sharing my recent experiences and mixing a sacred elixir known as a 'Mojito'.
(I know it's not completely original ..however it's never been mixed onboard before...and with sooo much consciousness, rightousness and love.....accompanied by skanky Dub and Reggae.....and is an effective way of using up Rum)
My other offering within the annals of 'WM sacred elixir recipes', includes the now famous.... 'Vila-Verifier' (circa 1998-2000)
The final days of Euro-WM-2004 (NY city leg of the tour), involved talking down a Black Gentleman...who was intent upon throwing himself off a 5th storey fire-escape....with the promise of a life-membership in the RDBYC........
.....then participating in the ritualised acts of attending a celebrity cocktail party in NY city with Paul Neumann and Mario Andretti (I declined to offer them membership as neither are worthy)
.....followed by the consecration in a NY apartment with a Jewish NYer Goddess...commonly known as 'Sex-In-The-City' (unfortunately Sarah Jessica Parker wasn't available for the ceremony).
Having said all this....I am tired of being regarded as merely an honorary member. That is walking the walk but not able to talk the talk........
Hurry up and give me my WM tattoo...
......and I want it on my butt...
......and I want it to be done by a woman (preferably naked/possibly a WM Goddess).....
......and I want it to hurt.......
Yours in WM...
Your active disciple
Captain (mission-man) Kirk
